We? You? Who???

Recently, one of my very dear friends, admittedly not a football fan, but we can forgive him, lambasted me for referring to Birmingham City as 'we'.

'We're up to 9th now'.
'Who are?'
'We are. Birmingham City.'
'Oh right. You played, did you?'
'No, but-'
'So why the use of 'we'?'
'It's just what everybody does.'

Admittedly, in hindsight, 'it's just what everybody does' was an extremely weak argument. But, in honour of the Facebook group which has caught my eye, I have 'thought up a retort after the argument'. The above friend is extremely keen on politics, and so it would perhaps be best to use the analogy of the Prime Minister and his cabinet. If one of them messes up, it is best to (on the face of it at least) rally behind him/her and take collective responsibility. That is what it is like supporting a football team. It is far more comforting to cry as a group, rather than on one's own. If 30,000 fans troop out of a stadium demoralised, it is somehow just about bearable. If only one person is sat in a corner crying into their drink, then it will take far longer to get out of that spiral of depression. In addition, as I mentioned in a previous blog, there is no better feeling than belonging to a group of people, and 'taking over' the city, or train station, or stadium. You feel safe, confident, and even a little bit mischievous.

Imagine if we did single out one player for criticism. Do that, and we may as well bring back hanging and burning at the stake. Remember David Beckham at France '98? His sending-off in a crucial match led to, in some people's opinions, England going out of the World Cup, and back home, Beckham was victimised. I love David Beckham, and I think anyone that doubts his ability or wholesomeness should remember what he's done for football and for kids around the world. Anyway, I digress. If the same treatment was dished out to someone made of weaker stuff than Beckham every time someone made a mistake, then we'd probably have no players left! Two years ago, I could have been forgiven for wanting Liam Ridgewell to be hanged after giving away an embarrassing own goal to Aston Villa. If I'd been working at school with someone who made a similarly monumental clanger, I would probably have blamed the person. Yet with Ridgewell, the thought never crossed my mind. In football, we look for anyone to blame but our own players. The referee, the opposition, the weather. Even the manager gets stick over the players. But the players, thanks to the 'go on my son' mentality, are given a collective arm round the shoulder by thousands and thousands of people, and 'we' stick together.

I do, however, think that happiness is best had by a small number of people. It may be my own schadenfreude, but when my team had the best result of the weekend over my friends' teams, it felt extra-special. This, to me, is the attraction of supporting a lower-league team. When only a few thousand are celebrating winning, it's similar to when many people win The National Lottery. As seen in Bruce Almighty, when millions of people win, each person gets a very small amount of money. However, when only one or two people win, there are millions of pounds to be won!

Referring to your team as 'they' sounds cold and distant, like you're trying to shift the blame. Refer to your team as 'we', and you move one step closer to fulfilling every single football fan's dream, of stepping on to that hallowed turf, and having a kickabout with your heroes.