A Guide to Watching the World Cup

I don't know if you've noticed, but there's an awful lot of football on the TV at the moment. How on earth do you choose which games to watch, acknowledging that it's impossible to watch every single one of the 64 games over the next 30 days? Hopefully, this cut-out-and-keep guide will help you to decide.

Of course, you could pick it simply by the television channel, or if you can't find the remote, you may have to stick with the one channel. On the one hand, we have the highly-professional and smooth BBC, with its many different pundits, presented by the steady, yet bland hand of Gary Lineker. The studio of the BBC is very impressive, with a stunning backdrop overlooking Table Mountain. On the downside, some of the punditry leaves a lot to be desired. Today's line-up was like a bad joke, with Adebayor, Lawro and Hansen: a Scotsman, an Irishman and a Togolese are in a studio. Alan Hansen showed himself up to be a dour xenophobic Scotsman with his highly patronising comment towards Adebayor in 'Brit-on-holiday' speech: 'YOU LIKE RIBERY, YEAH?'

There is, of course, the dark side. ITV. To be fair to ITV, they have at least splashed the cash on a shiny new studio, in contrast to four years ago when they appeared to be broadcasting from the remains of Hitler's bunker. Adrian Chiles is fulfilling the role of 'fan', accompanied by another Irishman (Andy Townsend) and Gareth Southgate, a man who seems to pride himself on stating the obvious.

In the respective gantries, BBC has the edge. The cynical Mark Lawrenson aside, BBC seem to have come up trumps with their co-commentators. Even though it takes a bit of getting used to, Mick McCarthy's Yorkshire hum is a refreshing change, and he does, unlike Lawro, know what he's talking about. ITV, in contrast, is a nightmare. Peter Drury yesterday was on the verge of exploding, and he was that biased towards South Africa, I half-expected him to pull out a vuvuzela. Clive 'Mr Man Utd' Tyldesly is no better, and has been dining out on his infamous commentary clip in 1999's European Cup Final since that night in Barcelona.

You could of course, pick a side and just watch their games. If you want to be a bit different, pick a team based on a random fact you once heard. For example, West Brom fans might be interested to hear that Lars Lagerback, the Nigeria manager, once claimed his favourite player was Kenny Hibbitt, who played for the Wolves. Or you may want to support Nigeria simply because they have a manager called Lagerback, who sounds like a creation from Harry Potter. I will be supporting Serbia, simply because Nikola Zigic, the Serbian centre-forward, is the only Birmingham player at the tournament. Also, there is no confusingly South American sounding 'Montenegro' at the end, which makes things a lot easier.

Work or school may get in the way. I've planned my free periods meticulously, and am delighted to see that I'll be able to watch Greece v Nigeria next week, both of whom looked dire in their first games. Not. All I'm hoping is that there won't be five minutes of injury time at the end of the 12:30 games, or else I could be running into afternoon lessons looking very sweaty, having just seen Nikola Zigic bury a 30 yard volley into the top corner with the last kick of the match.

Basically, unless you don't care about football (or have just been made redundant or sacked and can watch every game) these are very difficult decisions to make. Sacrifices will be made. Relationships may die. But when it comes down to it, you have to decide which is more important: getting to class on time, or watching David Suazo hammer in a penalty against Chile for Honduras.